The break-up of a relationship ranks as one of the most stressful life events- it’s up there with the death of a loved one. You may feel “a part of you has died,” and your whole world has fallen apart. The ability to concentrate and get motivated may be hard to come across. You may also find yourself remembering and missing things you used to do with your partner.
The end of a relationship – whether it lasted for weeks, months or years – can leave us feeling upset and uneasy about what comes next.
YOUR PAIN IS REAL
Brain research shows that rejection experiences in a break-up can activate the same areas of the brain that physical pain or distress do. Especially in women, a break-up can cause cardiac pain and shortness of breath. The pain is both emotional and physiological, which means it can be very intense.
Recovering from break up depression
Funny man Neil Patrick Harris had once said in a popular television series, “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” And this iconic statement holds true in the lives of many young, heartbroken lovers.
So we should work on self- improvement for our own good in order to cope with this break up depression.
Recovering from a break-up is not easy and can lead to severe depression; lowered immune system response; and even health problems.
Breakups can hit you hard and you’re bound to fall on your knees if not fall flat. There will be moments you start losing yourself in desolation and try some unhealthy things in an attempt to fill that void.
The blues can turn you dark and take you on a ride to hell but the good or maybe bad (depends on your perspective) thing is, life goes on. End of relationship does not mean the end of life. However, surviving the post-breakup blues needs one heck of survival instinct.
As you recover from your break-up, you need to take care of yourself. The following tips might be helpful in that process.
TIPS FOR RECOVERING FROM A BREAK-UP
Address our needs
After a break-up, we may lose our sense of self. When this happens, we can start to feel sad, upset, irritable, stressed, overactive or overwhelmed. Whether we lean on Netflix and ice cream or start hitting the gym more, it’s important to check in about what we actually need.
Start by addressing the basics first. Do we need to eat a proper meal, take a walk or get a good night’s sleep? Have we been making it to class and work, or do we need to take a little time off? Listen to our own cues and work to meet our immediate needs.
Once we’ve taken care of the basics, we can get back to finding ourselves again. Identify hobbies and activities that make us feel like ourself and make time for them again (even if we don’t necessarily feel like it) whether it’s art, music, sports, reading, podcasts or something new altogether.
Music is a healer
Music helps us heal just like time does. It is a powerful thing, like all other forms of art this one is magical too. We will have our share of sad songs and heartbreak songs but know this the music we listen to will have the power to heal us. No matter what genre we like there are songs about moving and being strong by some good musicians. The music we choose to listen to influences our mood, we might want to be careful in choosing there.
Working out, running, and even brisk walking release opiates, which can help us deal with stress. Studies show that cardiovascular exercise can be as effective in dealing with mild to moderate anxiety and depression as antidepressants. So, get up and put our running shoes on!
Reach out and remember those around us
Some people may become withdrawn after a break-up, while others may get busy making plans for every night of the week. During this time, it’s important to take some time to connect with the people closest to us like friends, family or roommates.
Make a point to sit down and have lunch or dinner with a close friend to talk about how we’re really doing – and how they are, too.
Check in with a parent, sibling or other family member about what we need right now.
If we haven’t been as involved at home or fulfilling your share of roommate duties, check in with our roommate(s) to minimize potential frustration and disagreements
It’s also important to do some reflecting and renewing with ourself. Jot down a list of things in our life we are grateful for and add to it daily, then read it back to ourself when we need a reminder.
Working on ourself
Learn problem-solving skills
Work on improving our self-esteem
Create goals to work toward
Take steps toward solving our problems
Find a sense of purpose in our life
Create a safe space on social media. Consider other options for virtual connection, like starting a new group text or Facebook group with our closest friends. Targeted communications from close friends can have the most positive impact during a breakup.
Identify triggers that lead to self-destructive social media habits. It’s important to have a plan in place to cope with photos, memories or other milestones from our former relationship. When we feel the need to revisit those things on social media, try a hot bath or another self-soothing method to relax the body and calm emotions.
Try using a gratitude journal: Research from Gary Lewandowski (2009) has found that writing about positive aspects of a break-up increases feelings such as comfort, confidence, empowerment, energy, happiness, optimism, relief, satisfaction, thankfulness, and wisdom. The persons who come into our life teach us how to love ourself thus aiding in our overall development.
TRY SOMETHING NEW THAT WE NEVER GOT TO DO – ALONE
Whether our relationship lasted six years or six weeks, we likely got very used to being attached at the hip to another human. It’s time to do the thing we always wanted but never go to do. We’re talking bigger than hobbies. Go for the once-in-a-lifetime stuff like skydiving, a solo trip to another country, or backpacking in the woods!
Bonus points if the activities we decide to do are ones that our ex would’ve absolutely hated.
START A NEW, DIFFERENT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP
When we are swept up in a romance, it can be tough to remember that relationships come in all shapes and sizes – they don’t always have to include makeouts and hand holding. Forge a new kind of relationship with a plant, a book, a pet – anything that lights up our heart in a real way.
Let go and burn all the bridges.
This is the most difficult and essential part. This is an extreme step but it actually works. If we keep the bridges that connect us two, we cannot really move on. If we keep seeing our ex’s face everywhere whether it is an old photograph or on any social media, it’s going to be very difficult for us to let go.
Unfriend/unfollow them all the social medias, box away from their pictures, gifts and any memory that we may accidentally bump into. Don’t try to cherish the old emails and messages, maybe it’s hard but deletes them slowly. Burn all the bridges that may connect us and as time passes things won’t matter anymore.
We feel too weak to step outside and face the world, but my friend, not leaving the house for days and locking ourself alone will do no good to us. it’s time to discover ourself all over again. It’s time to discover what makes us happy, it’s to find out what we want, it’s time to do what we always wanted to do. Instead of losing ourself to loneliness, lose ourself in introspection. Be the way we want people to see us. Breakups can be a great motivation to better we. Step out and go find that smile of ours.
Let the emotions flow
Express ourself! Don’t hold back the tears or anger or even the frustration, cry our pain out, and for the rest pick a canvas and paint our pain there. Express ourself anyway we want; write, paint, sing, draw, play, or anyway just let it out. The raw emotions of pain and post-breakup blues, we often help us create the masterpiece.
“Words are like water, powerful enough to cut through rocks if channeled properly. Add a little creativity and they are like rain drenching your soul. And if poured along with emotions they are like snow; holding a thousand storms within.” –Shamsir Alam
When we let it out in any form we feel much lighter from within. Pain is the best catalyst for the pen.
Don’t give up.
Breakups break us but do remember when we fall it is not the end, we fell so that we could look at what just happened and learn from it. We may think this is the end and the love is gone, the hope is gone and there’s no more meaning to life and god forbid what not!
We’re better than this, we’re better than giving up, belief in ourself. Life is a journey through the mountains, we meet snow, desert, forest, rocks, valleys, that is how life goes on, we meet people, we feel in love, things don’t work out we break up, we struggle and we heal and again we meet someone, this goes on and on. The love it lives inside us, it doesn’t leave with our partner. In this process we learn a lot about ourself and people, we learn important life lessons. Just let the post-breakup blues give us pain but don’t ever give up.
Know that we will rise and fall (in love) again
No matter how bad things ended up last time know that it is not the end. We will fall in love again and this time bigger and better. Bigger and better because we have healed, we rise when we fell and now we know ourself better. We have with us the lessons the previous relationship gave and now we are more mature.
We introspected and now are a better version of ourself, we can see this the way people react to us. Just don’t go looking for love, let it find us until then be there improving ourself, following our passion. Don’t shut ourself to love, when the time comes it will hit us again.
Never go back
If we want to cope with break up depression we should never try to contact our ex again. Because once our ex have betrayed us, he/she will betray us again. It’s about time we turn the page and start the new chapter of our life. Let the past be where it belongs- in the past. Live in the present moment and work for the happiness of we and our loved ones. Most of all control the urge of texting or calling them when we’re drunk, it’s usual to miss them more when drunk but avoid texting or calling them. Just move on with our life and look forward to the endless possibilities.
Never bring the thought in your mind that your lover left you because you have some imperfections and weaknesses. You lover cannot define you and your abilities.
The good news is that even if you do experience depressive symptoms triggered by a breakup, they usually begin to get better on their own by six months after the event.
If your symptoms are mild to moderate, you may be able to handle them on your own by practicing good self-care and surrounding yourself with a strong support system.
If your symptoms are more severe or if you just feel that you need a little extra help coping, talk to your doctor or therapist. Counseling can be helpful to help you gain perspective, address negative thought patterns, and establish coping skills that may help you both now and in the future.
If your symptoms are severe or do not seem to be improving, your doctor may also prescribe medications such as antidepressants that can help.
Quotes that can help you overcome breakup depression
- Every problem has a solution just like every lock has its key.
- Never lose hope. Something good will happen.
- Through breakup we are directed to find something better. So, make room for what is coming.
- “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” — Socrates.
- Breakup is a chance to find someone whom you deserve, breakup also directs towards true love.
- “Pain makes you stronger, fear makes you braver, heartbreak makes you wiser.” —Drake.
- “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” – Robin Sharma
- “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” —Paulo Coelho
- I might have lost you, but actually I have found myself.
Story of a man who overcame break up depression
A man experienced break up by his girlfriend because he was too fat. He worked out in gym. Now he has made his body chiselled with eight pack abs. He made his girlfriend realise her folly and now he is getting over 100 acceptances on a matrimony website on which he has registered himself. Life gave him lemons but he made lemonade out of it.
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